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ABDC S05E05: This Is The Way We Fail Hardcore So Late In The Evening

Submitted by on February 28, 2010 – 12:33 amNo Comment

Image courtesy MTV.com

Ooh! It’s HOT off the presses! This week’s Recap with Snark just hit my mailbox and I decided it was just too good to wait.  Watch out for the spoils!

ABDC S05E05: This Is The Way We Fail Hardcore So Late In The Evening
By MusicBoxGrirl

We’re back to the old intro and I like it much better. Ferris wheel is gone at least.

Last week we lost the first Swagger Crew. It was sad and emotional and the South had a huge cry fest over having only two crews left to rep for them.

In case you don’t remember we have: Jungle Boogie and Royal Flush for the South. Blueprint Cru, Static Noyze and Saltare for the East. Poreotix, Heavy Impact!!! and Hype 5-0 for the West.

An an incredibly unoriginal and faux-suspenseful move, we learn that Poreotix (*yawn*) and Jungle Boogie (yay!) are safe tonight.

Music Video Challenge

Poreotix – I really try not to hold grudges but these guys are just so predictable and boring. Does nobody else see that?? I don’t understand everyone creaming their pants over these guys, sorry but not really.

They got Rihanna -Umbrella and I’m already cringing. Somehow they’re surprised that the judges wanted more from them and were humbled by last week’s comments. At least we get to watch Sexy Asian Robots for half a second. If that didn’t make you cringe, you must have a steel will.

Well at least they’re not being total iso snoozefests. Wha. . . WHAT IS GOING ON?? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS EYEHURT?? They’ve gone male revue on me and I am so frightened. Look, I know that comedy is part of their shtick but I just can’t take them seriously. I didn’t really find anything wow worthy in this performance. They appeared to stick very strictly to the video and everything else was just kind of spazzy comedy.

JC – There will never be a shortage of funny and the costumes were a great reveal. I am convinced that no one on thos panel, especially not JC or Lil’ Mama, feel that they have the right to comment on anyone’s hideous wardrobe since they have both worn their fair share of horrible attire. He enjoyed the lightspeed wave but the umbrellas were not in sync and the crowd does not approve of JC’s anal nitpicking but JC comes back with some sass, ‘Uh, I didn’t do it wrong.’ Good routine but nothing complicated about it.
Lil’ Mama – They were on top of the challenge. They made it fun and were charismatic. She likes how they played off the costumes and worked in the metallic. She agreed with JC on it, it was good but could have been better. MAMASEZ moment.
Omarion – I feel like Omarion didn’t look in the mirror when he left home. Black and white stripes? Why not an orange jumpsuit my friend? Is this a not so subtle shout out to a previous ABDC judge? Hhhhmmm? Omarion babbles something about how he wishes they would have brought the video to life in a different way.

Jungle Boogie – They got Shakira – Give It Up To Me. Apparently Raqi is not the girly girl and watching her shake her hips makes the boys go all giggly. Raqi has to step up her sexy game (rawr?). Antwain and his brother were actually national step champions. Excuse me, I need a moment to contain my fangirl flail. There are few things in life that I love more than stepping. Antwan is this week’s naysayer as he pretty much thinks they will be failing hardcore if they can’t pull the stepping off.

I see Raqi got her hair. I loved Raqi’s entrance. While I enjoy what they have done and they effort they have put into this performance, I don’t think they really committed to the stepping. They seem like they’re holding back a little? Am I seeing things? I do love the tricks they worked in. Raqi’s solo was insane and I feared for her life as she stood up on that sheet. The shewolf but was a very nice touch for them and the ending had me grinning. Raqi owned pretty much that entire thing.

Lil’ Mama – Raqi is bringing the extra sexy with the ponytail. Raqi deserved the solo because she’s strong and powerful. Lil’ Mama appreciates them because they appreciate art and dance and they always rise up to the challenge. . . of their rivals. She also likes how they mixed the cranking and stepping and made it their own.
Omarion – Is gunning for the creepster award. Will he ever stop hitting on the women? Please stop. He’s surprised that Raqi was able to step up her sexy game because she’s tough and she has to be strong when she’s around the guys. He, being a male, totally understands what it’s like to be a woman in a man’s world because he had little sisters. Obvi. But she stepped up and she looked wonderful. Don’t you just love how he commented on only Raqi? Did he even see the other five dancers on stage?
JC – He calls out ‘Zebra’ (I feel like this is going to start a very amusing trend) for being slow in getting to the next move after he put down the tray. JC is being a timing Nazi tonight. Jeez! How much you wanna bet he still has nightmares about counting steps? He picked up on the hesitant stepping too. He says they need to not be afraid to make contact and make it count, don’t just do it for show.

Biting my nails in nervousness, OMG!! Static Noyze and Saltare

Static Noyze – They got Little Boots – New In Town I don’t even know what song this is or who the hell Little Boots is. BWENGH??! Suzette is concerned about using shopping carts and the possibility for injury. I feel for them.

Um, um, QUE? It looked like a five year old’s glittery dream about going shopping. And this song sucks, by the way. The shopping carts just hung out on stage for a large portion of the dance. They’re bulky and impractical and I can’t see any way where they could have been used more but just having them sitting on stage was distracting and made the fact that they weren’t being used very much that much more noticeable. It was lose/lose. The one cool thing they did manage to pull of was the flip that Peter did over the cart. There was also a section where Peter was riding in a shopping cart and that was cute.

Omarion – They look like they had fun. He likes that they always stick to the script (which is weird because he told the robot kids that he wished they hadn’t stuck to the script/video. He is confusing me.). He slow-moed Peter’s over the cart flip and says that was cool. He also wishes they had used the carts more creatively but that he enjoyed it.
JC – Is going to take a minute to take a page out of Omarion’s book and plug MTV’s show Pimp My Ride with Xzibit (Check Weekly Schedule For Air Times). They made him feel like he was actually watching the video. He tells Jessenia to stay in it because she came in and out of it. Not sure what that means, sorry!
Lil’ Mama – She thought they took the challenge to the next level. She thinks that they utilized the middle cart brilliantly. They’re very in unison with each other and she respects that about them. Keep it up, stay tight, stay together and stay true. THE GOLDEN NUGGETS OF WISDOM RETURN. Anyone up from a McDonald’s run . . .

Saltare – Metro Station – Shake It I know I can’t be the only one who thinks Trace Cyrus is a creepy fuck. Not even the fact that he once dated Demi Lovato can save him, actually I would say that makes him even creepier. I feel sorry for Saltare and how they probably had to watch this video too many times. They decided to try a front handspring off of someone’s back while jump roping. If anything, at least they’re pushing themselves.

I was so hopeful. The leapfrog into the ropes and the push-up jumps were ace and then it just all blew up in an abysmal explosion of purple and khaki. Very, very unfortunate. They seemed to just freeze for a second. Then one of the girls just seemed to be unsure for the rest of the routine. Understandable? Yes, but still sad. They did manage the front handspring off of the backs, times three. That was awesome. They actually manged to stay in sync with the video too. I enjoyed it and then someone tripped on the rope. . . not good at all. Maybe they got too tied up trying to pull off the tricks. This week, the prop owned them.

JC – Car crashes is the risk you run when you have a prop. He applauds them for pushing through it because the middle did get good. The backtuck was amazing then the front handsprings to land in the rope and that worked really well.’
Omarion – He’s surprised because he respects their timing so much. He’s willing to take it for what it is and just say, Don’t let it happen again. Yep, helpful tips/critique from the one and only.
Lil’ Mama – She appreciates that the try to use different elements and try to make different pictures because it is hard when you have to use a prop. There were no ropes in this video and they have to use them because they are Saltare (mispronounced because she’s Lil’ Mama and she’s got it like that). She wants to seem them prevail. Every week is going to be a different challenge for them and they’ll have to push through it in order to not be gimmicky and be America’s Best Dance Crew.

MORE SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLEASE! Heavy Impact!!! and Hype 5-0. Is it just me or are the girls from Hype-5-0 wearing the same fishnet/design tights as Static Noyze?

Heavy Impact!!! – The exclamation points of approval have jumped ship from Royal Flush to these boys because I love them so. They got Colby O’Donis – What you Got. They’ll be focusing on popping for this routine. It’s harder to pop as a big guy because there’s a whole lot more body to move. That was out intro to dance lesson 1.

They start of with awesome, add in some awesome and continue with some awesome. Translation: LOVE
Greg seemed to be dancing a little faster than everyone else in the beginning but it smoothed right out. The tumbles where a nice way to start off and the slow turn after that was fun. Then we had another front handspring over someone’s back which is interesting. I wonder if they came up with that on their own or where influenced by Saltare. I also wonder if JC had flashbacks watching this because they were rocking the boyband formations like whoa! Stephen is a sexy frontman too. I almost feel like I’m cheating on Isaac but that’s not my fault, Stephen totally made the first move when he blew a kiss and winked at me like that. I do like that they did the popping bit but also had some nice smoothe sections that I have come to associate with them. It was comforting.

Omarion – Ay! Ay! Ay! He likes that they could come out and just dance and groove like that. He felt there was more face than popping going on (althought CJ was hitting it) and that he doesn’t ever want to hear them say that something is harder for them. That’s just not who they are. Good job.
Lil’ Mama – She thinks they stepped it up since last week. This challenge wasn’t really a challenge for them since they dominated from beginning to end. Greg (in the section that I said he was dancing faster than everyone else) was going harder than everyone else despite being one of the biggest guys. Tip: When in practice, pick out who is going harder and work to dance as hard as them. Work to keep it together. She LOVED IT!
JC – The mood of the video was there. It was presented well and the opening was energetic. He agreed with *winds of change* Omarion and didn’t really like the popping section. (I do hope he goes back to agreeing with Lil’ Mama very soon!) He did enjoy the locking section and the slide and how they kept it smooth. And the DANCER FACE was hilarious. He loves him some dancer face! It was ok.

Hype 5-0 – Britney Spears – 3 It’s more cute and girly than they are used to since they’re so intense. They have to dance with a pole and that makes them nervous. They are trying to focus in their sexy.

The girls look more like they’re flailing up on the side beams and it’s not very sexy. One of them was slow on the dismount and has to rush to catch up. Meanwhile the three boys up front seem to be holding down the fort. They did all get into position in time for the video link up. It is weird that they decided to make two of the girls play the part of Britney. And I don’t really know how I feel about using one of the boys as a pole. That was just. . . odd but I do appreciate the split he’s in! The ass shaking was alright. I did like the flips they did. I can’t say I appreciated the stage gay in this routine but that was probably just me.

Lil’ Mama – She enjoyed the beginning and thought the hair flipping was sexy (We shall agree to disagree). She also loved the split/pole move and the flip he did to get down from there. I can’t hate, it *was* impressive.
JC – He enjoyed the use of the stage. Use ALL of it! He likes how they used the runway. When it comes to levels if you’re going to get low then get low, don’t just drop 3 inches. He thought the dismount was sloppy but the end pose really grabbed the idea of the song. He said it was nasty. I didn’t just shudder.
Omarion – Disagrees with JC (and the crowd goes wild) and JC counters with, You’ll see the fumble. Omarion thought they played sexy very well and was surprised to see that they guys played it up well too. Like obvi guys can’t be Britney levels of sexy. She doesn’t have guy dancers that dance sexy on her tour with her or anything like that at all. IT IS AMAZING. Alert the media: MEN CAN BE SEXY TOO! And here’s another shocker, he enjoyed the kiss. Sexy. Sexy. Sexy.

Say sexy one more time, Omarion. . .

Bottom Two

Royal Flush – Cascada – Evacuate the Dance Floor Gissette is having a particularly hard time with the breaking section because she has weak upper body strength and the moves feel unnatural to her. I feel for you, bb!

They started with really great energy. And while they threw in some interesting moves I think that the face that they copped out and did the dance club solos instead of group breaking is going to cost them. They also didn’t really wow me this week. The performance didn’t really feel like Royal Flush until the very end with the card tricks.

Lil’ Mama – Good, tight and clean. She likes how they played off the music. She enjoyed the floorwork and the flips and it worked. She had a great time watching them.
JC – It was a hot open because they had battle faces on. Then the middle died a little bit. He didn’t like the card trick until they came out of the guy’s mouth and he felt that breathed new life into the routine. He loved the conviction of the performance.

Blueprint Cru – Omarion – I Get It In They’re going to try to do headstands and it is getting kind of ugly. I don’t think it’s fair that MTV opted to include a song by one of the judges. Failcats MTV.

Derty comes out styling like Omarion and he gets points for effort. They started off with a lot of energy too. I don’t know if they should get more points for all attempting (but failing) to do the difficult move or not. I mean, we got Nathalie who fell over within 3 seconds and TL fell over withing 6 seconds and that was their big trick so it’s hard to really evaluate. The rest of the dance wasn’t bad but there was nothing extremely catching about it.

OmarionOmarion and Mario have a fledgling bromance happening and I never want to see it again. We found out Derty made a real commitment and cut his hair to look like Omarion’s which is a lame move because that haircut just looks dumb. Sorry about your life, Derty. He called out the headstands but says he’s gonna let it slide because it’s a hard move. You enjoyed yourself and he liked that. And props for the chest pops.
JC – They’re always so precise and tight. TL fell out of the headstand and that’s tough. Nicolas (and I missed this!) slid across the floor like the floor was moving beneath him. It looked like he was skidding on top of water which looks amazing in slow-mo. Two great performance from two great crews and he thinks they’re both under-appreciated and he thinks they’re really really good.

My guess is Blueprint Cru
1 for 1 Blueprint Cru

This is unfortunate(how many times have I said that in this recap alone??) I really liked Royal Flush but there just wasn’t enough support for them. Sadness.

Heavy Impact!!! or Jungle Boogie

Next Week

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