RECAP! ABDC S05E03: Brought to you with the help of a million friendly sea creatures
REEECCAAAAAPPPPP! It’s time for a snippy snarky reaction post from none other than MusicBoxGirl with what we call RECAP with SNARK. GO!
[PS: spoilers abound, beware of adult content & language! You've been warned!]
ABDC S05E03: Brought to you with the help of a million friendly sea creatures
And we’re back. In case you missed it:
3 regional competitions lead to 15 dance crews. The East, the South and the West. Apparently all of y’all in the middle don’t matter anymore. We always knew this but ABDC was the last standing bastion for the MidWest and now it has shunned you. Be ashamed. You are now no man’s land.
The rundown so far is like this: Gone: X-treme Motion, Ghost, Draztik and Legendary 7.
This means that representing for the South we have: Jungle Boogie, Swagger Crew and Royal Flush!!! and for the East we have: Blue Print Cru, Static Noyze and Saltare.
Let us not forget that this is North America’s Best Hip-Hop Dance Crew, Mario said so. And in case you’ve missed it the first 4395r023492iu-4 times West coast holds All of the ABDC titles. ALL of them. ALL OF THEM!
I see my fellow fat kids ‘destroying stereotypes’. We can’t all have personal trainers, Mario. The one crew dancing on a cliff with the one guy still wearing a backpack. . .what is that about? Who even comes up with that? WHY ARE YOU DANCING WITH A BACKPACK ON? None of this is actually relevant as it’s just a scene from the intro but it bothered me. Onward!
Looks like the MTV graphics people put down the bong long enough to change the title screen to actually display ‘ABDC The Regionals WEST’. I see how it is.
WEST Regional Battle
Hype-5-0 – Honolulu, HI – Aiyaiyai! Just for the record, every crew that isn’t from a big city (or is Canadian) would like us to know that there is an urban culture where they come from. Josh “Hazmat” (SRSLY?) would like us to know that urban culture crosses oceans on the backs of well meaning dolphins or something. I mean, they’re from Hawaii, how the hell else is urban culture going to get there? They can’t possibly get MTV. How would the electrical wires cross the ocean without electrocuting the world? Also, every crew has sacrificed everything to be there. Brittnie gave up a scholarship so that she could dance. I don’t mean to be the big bad bitch but, did they think it was going to be easy? Am I supposed to sympathize because she decided to follow her passion instead of cracking open some books? Call me whatever you want but I’m sick of the tears and the pseudo sob stories. Am I the only one that thought they were named High 5-0 before the name flashed on screen?
That being said, they’re dancing is very hard and edgy (as in angles and not innovation). I did like how they walked away from the judge panel at the end of the dance but that’s the only thing that stood out from the audition footage.
Omarion – Really enjoyed it.
Nichelle – Had some words for the choreographer, stop putting yourself in the middle and try to showcase your other members.
JC – Loved the energy and apparently they engaged the judges in ways that the judges have never been engaged before. We need Lil’ Mama to translate but we only have the newbies and neither of them understands JC. I’m going to guess that the footage is holding back some goodies, or JC is tripping. Either/or and possibly both.
. . . Are they SERIOUS??! Hawaiian shirts and grass skirts are giving X-treme Motion’s spandex a run for its money. Hazmat wows us with more wisdom by informing us that Hawaii has a lot of unseen talent.
Glad the outfits got lost after 3 seconds. The beginning was kind of boring for me, everybody was doing the same thing and there were no extra frills or pizazz. The second half was slightly more lively with some interesting elements mixed in. The split over jump was cool and the girls’ little ass shaking bit was well timed and very cute. Not gonna lie, I’m digging the jackets. ‘Believe the Hype’.
Omarion – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Big energy. Liked the split over and the backflip. He says remember that this is a competition and keep the confidence high like tonight.
Lil’ Mama – Does anyone else miss the wacky outfits? The hats? OMG THE HATS! Somehow gold lame is tame to my eyes. Moving on, they were a gust of energy. Great way to start the show. She enjoyed when they ran up the stage because they got up there so quick and energetic. Apparently running is now considered creative. She was *almost* speechless. They brought it.
JC – Likes how they used the stage. He’s also hung up on this running in thing. You’d think these two share a brain (MAMASEZ (Thanks, Dom!) RUNNING GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT). Apparently they’ve only ever experienced slow running. OMG “AIR QUOTES”. I’m crowning “flavor” white boy quote of the episode. Anyway, they had “flavor” or attitude and how they played to the crowd.
I know I can’t be the only one cringing at the fact that they have brought us another crew of cloggers. There will only ever be one REAL clogging crew and that’s Dynamic Edition, thank you very much!
Just murder us with weight puns, Mario.
Heavy Impact – Los Angeles, CA – OMGOMGOMG I love them already. LOOK AT THEIR FACES!!! They’re all mean mugs and crossed arms but OMG SO ADORABLE. I don’t think that’s what they were going for but I don’t even care. ♥ Isaac informs us that big boys can boogie. They’re groove and high energy.
Alright, as much as I love them just from their bio piece, the routine looked kind of. . .well, slow and (no pun intended) heavy. As I’ve been saying for the past two weeks, the auditions are cut up all to shit and really are just a few scattered ice chips off the iceberg but this one was particularly bad. The sliding across the floor bit was very slow and sloppy but I can’t deny that there were some moments (flips, particularly) that were awesome. What can I say? I’m a sucker for tricks. The judges are all hilariously impressed. Looks can be deceiving, not all fat kids are lazy, slow, couch potatoes.
Omarion – Enjoyed it but clean it up, especially the diagonals.
Nichelle – Was entertained and, apparently, turned on a bit. Someone should give her the TMI handbook.
JC – (That’s surprising!)
OMGOMGOMG The sumo walk out! Isaac is the spokesman for heavy boys bringing the groove.
I HAVE NO WORDS! Isaac’s FACE! HIS FREAKING FACE IS THE BEST THING EVER. And pretty much all the weird facial expressions and the tongues and the random palm licking. I don’t even know, I think I understand Nichelle’s comment now. They seem to be dancing much harder now and seem to have taken Omarion’s advice. OMG the little freak section was GOLDEN. The flips and I can’t lie, I appreciated the belly thing. If the girls can do it so can the boys.
Lil’ Mama – Likes their confidence but smooth out the sexy section. It doesn’t have to be so hard (LULZ Yeah, my mind went *there*). Big guys need love too. Leon’s X-split was great, they were very active and agile. Keep it coming, stay proud, smooth out the sexy and ‘keep it hard when it’s time to be that.’ Yup, my mind is still in the gutter and I suspect Lil’ Mama’s mind is in here with me somewhere.
JC – Interesting group. Formations have been cleaned up since the audition and they were changing up all through the intro. Body lines were good which is weird (it’s not *that* weird!). Another of JC’s golden rules WORK YOUR TRANSITIONS! We should all remember this from seasons past. The tumbling pass was good and showed that they were light on their feet which is apparently an oxymoron. I really think all the emphasis on the ‘heavy’ is going to get annoying very, very quickly. Tatatatata I’m here! Tatatatata I’m here!
Omarion – Very excited again and they stepped it up. The groove is so ‘Cali’ which to those of us who have never been to Cali means nothing at all. Wants to see them grow. He’s an Isaac fanboy and I can’t blame him because Isaac has got IT!
Blended Projekt – West Covina, CA – Again with the misspellings, UGH! I’m sorry, but I do believe Dynamic Edition did it better. Just saying. They’ve ‘tricked it out’ and brought a ‘hip-hop feel to it’. And I don’t feel bad that the youngest have to juggle school and dance. Sorry (but not really). Y’know, I think what annoys me most is that they’re trying to pretend that they’re being novel when they’re not. You took something that someone else did, put some glitter and rhinestones on it and tried to pull it off as innovative. They’re not the first crew to do this and they’re not being original because they’re incorporating hip-hop. Man! I took an extra dose of bitch this morning. Is there only one dude? I’m not complaining just wondering.
It kind of looked more like they were jumping in place than clogging (could be because of the sneakers?) Nothing really notable other than I kind of felt like I was watching high school cheerleading.
JC – Great routine. Wants to know that they’re feeling it when they’re grooving. Apparently it was a little too plastic-smiley-happy-funtimes for him.
Nichelle – She didn’t like the hip-hop that they brought to it. The song says get dirty so get rough, get dirty. Translation: Calculating. . .
Omarion – Enjoyed it. He’s also totally honest and says he would have laughed if one of them had fallen, I would have too. Possibly we are both horrible people.
OMG the SHINY PURPLE PANTS. CAN’T LOOK AWAY. Somehow I think we’re supposed to feel touched and/or inspired that Abacy (what is with the names this season??!) is only 15 and will have to balance dance and being in 10th grade. Honestly, she gets to do what she loves while skipping the high school drama fest. Excuse me while I go cry for her misspent youth. *rolls eyes*
Can’t lie, I enjoyed the back flip over the three girls tumbling. That was awesome. They’re cute but I can’t shake the feeling that I feel like they’re going to start yelling, ‘Go Team!’ at any point. And they keep doing these pauses that seem to take forever which might have something to do with the fact that it’s all just a little slow.
JC – TOO SMILE. DIS IZ NOT SMILETOPIA. DIS IZ DANCE CREW AND DIS IZ ZERIOUS! Used the stage well. Started off hard and then the pause was a little long. They’ve mixed the styles very well.
Omarion – You gotta take the good and the bad and you have to have the aggressiveness to fight to be here. It’s a competition after all.
Lil’ Mama – Mid-tempo but they swagged it out. Don’t be intimidated by the taps on the bottom of the shoes. Be confident that if you’re going to make a sound, you’re all going to make a sound. Abacy has charisma, everyone else has the charisma of mounted fish.
I’m loving all the pans to the other finalists in the crowd.
Break EFX – Denver, CO – Not just a bunch of farm boys from Colorado. I’ll just leave it at that.
They are all over it. Classic breaking, pop and locking. HOLD UP! THEY GOT THIS! They seem to be high energy and all around entertaining even in the bastardized audition clips.
Nichelle – What she loves is that they don’t just do b-boy, they do choreo too.
Omarion – Some things need to be cleaned up but he enjoyed it.
JC – Too many ideas to compute at once. Try to highlight things instead of just mashing it all up and making us sift through it.
Only breaking crew in the regionals. Eppie informs us that they are aiming to continue the legacy of b-boys on ABDC.
Headspins make my ENTIRE LIFE a better place. The energy and tricks were definitely up to par for what we’re used to. They were also funny with some of the moves they did and kept things going so that there wasn’t a dull moment during the entire performance. Kudos for making me go an entire 30 seconds snark free.
Lil’ Mama – They’re funkadelic. Nice flow but bring it harder when it comes to the b-boy. A lot of tricks in the beginning but choreo was just ‘ok’. Step it up and bring the fire and ambition. Girls need to keep up with the guys. Christa was popping and locking but it’s gotta be cleaner.
Omarion – Wants to give it up for them. B-boy requires a lot of athleticism and is serious and he respects that. Who is this guy and what have they done with Grouch!Omarion? Would have liked more of the b-boy foundation of tricks.
JC – Agrees with the other two judges. Cool routine. The was one thing he had never seen before the sideways jump across someone’s body, it was dope. The opening flip over two people wasn’t as lined up as it could have been, if you’re going to be upfront you have to be tight. The handhops across have the stage to hand off the hat was also dope. And the entire crew used the stage and kept it going. In conclusion: Cool, dope, dope.
Poreotix – Westminister, CA – The only crew that didn’t get a little graphic with their name and hometown. Way to sleep on the job MTV graphics. Though after last week I’m not sure why I expected more. This crew is like every geek’s fantasy: popping, choreography and robotics. They’re about putting on a show.
They sunglasses make me cringe but that’s not really the point. They’re very theatrical and I enjoy the robotic aspect of the dancing. I don’t think they’ll be boring ever.
Omarion – They have a lot of charisma and energy.
JC – They’re really playing up the gags to the fullest. Nobody is missing the gags. I think this is JC’s subtle way of informing them that some of the gags are kind of cheesy.
Nichelle – Spacing. Make sure your lines are straight and clean. I feel like this is the only piece of advice she’s given anyone.
They remind me of that really obnoxious kid in class that kills every joke dead by repeating it a million times until you finally have to scream at him to just shut up already because you got it the first 500 hundred times. Yeah, that kid, times 6.
We start of with an Asian joke about how they wear sunglasses because they have ‘the small eye’. And it continues to go downhill when Mario informs me that they’ll be dancing to a master mix of ‘T. Swizzle’. What did I ever do in my life to deserve this insanity? They’re like little robots on the biggest hit of speed ever. And then, then there’s glitter or maybe confetti. And awkward robot dancing and I swear, I swear that this is making me have flashbacks to middle school dances and it’s not pretty. I’m not nearly drunk enough to take this seriously. I can’t help smiling at the one guy mouthing lyrics and then, just when I thought I was going to curl up into a ball in the corner while trying to shut out memories of my 8th grade banquet, then came the tutting and Poreotix was reborn into a new light. Hold up, fellas, I’m really happy for you and Ima let you finish but I can’t stop laughing. This entire performance made my emotions range from mildly annoyed, to horrified, to on the verge of a breakdown, to hysterical laughter. I’m so confused.
JC – A lot of fun. Not very difficult but so entertaining. They’re charisma flew off the stage and everyone just ate a big taste of it. I don’t want to think too hard on that. And the tutting to Taylor Swift is DOPE. Mamasez word of the season. Loved it.
Lil’ Mama – Definitely entertained. She thinks it was the best performance tonight and JC says she’s making things difficult. First Mamasez spat this season? She defends it by saying it was the best overall performance. It has theatrics, humor and great lyrical interpretation. Innovative use of speed and cleverness. Brave, fun, charismatic. Always bring that and always connect.
Omarion – We have a good time when you have a good time. Comedic timing is spot on. Isolations were still dancing and told a story and he was impressed by how long they managed to keep it going.
My guesses are Poreotix and Hype-5-0
1 for 1 Poreotix
1 for 2 Heavy Impact
Sudden Death Showdown
Blended Projekt Less smiling this time but they did that pause thing again and then seemed to just be cheering on the one guy when he did his flips instead of continuing to dance.
Hype-5-0 LOL the ass shaking and they had some interesting move and great energy. The stuff they did on the floor was pretty hilarious.
Break EFX Also really great energy the chain transition was pretty corny though. The tricks are certainly entertaining.
Blended Projekt came to regionals hoping to kickstart a new style of clogging (WHATEVER). Lil’ Mama thought you brought the swagger but Omarion wanted more aggressiveness and JC thought you were cheesing it up too much. Break EFX made it to regionals as the only b-boy contender. JC thought the routine was cool but nothing jumped out, Lil’ Mama was feeling the funkadelic style but Omarion said there was not enough top rock or b-boy foundation. Hype-5-0 came to prove that they didn’t just resurface with Atlantis and that hip-hop has made it across oceans. Oh my! Lil’ Mama thought you killed it and JC said you brought the “flavor” but Omarion wanted to see more confidence.
My guess is Hype-5-0
1 for 1 Hype-5-0
I was hopeful for Break EFX but no luck. *sigh*
Nationals start next Thursday with Jungle Boogie, Swagger Crew and Royal Flush!!! for the South. Blue Print Cru, Static Noyze and Saltare for the East. Poreotix, Heavy Impact and Hype-5-0 for the West.
Recap will probably be a day or two late due to the fact that I’ll be in Tulsa for the MWK show! EEEEEEEEEEE!