RECAP- ABDC S05E01: Where all your sparklekind come to bop to the beat
This season, we’ll be featuring recaps from fans like YOU, and from TVGASM, because…. well because they’re great! Both show their passion for the show and point out the minute details you may have missed while you were busy staring at JC… btw, were people on twitter asking about his eyebrows? LOL WHUT? They were there… and uhm… in abundance.
As was that velvet purple jacket. Anyway.
Our fan reviews will come from a good friend of SN. Musicboxgirl has been providing her POV with a smidgen of snark, something she calls a Recap With Snark for the past four seasons. This season I asked her to get her shine on and provide recaps for SN. She was ever-so-happy to oblige.
She’s already provided her comments on the Regionals:Southern Edition, so let’s get to it!
We’ll put the content under a cut, because there are spoilers!
ABDC S05E01: Where all your sparklekind come to bop to the beat
by Musicboxgirl (@musicboxgirl)
Rundown of the past winning crews is very insightful, thank you Mario. (In case you missed it, this is America’s Best Hip Hop Dance Crew. Mario can back me up.) Apparently crews are making history this season. Past seasons ain’t got nothing on Lil’ Mama’s rooster hat.
3 regional competitions lead to 15 dance crews. The East, the South and the West. Apparently all of y’all in the middle don’t matter anymore. We always knew this but ABDC was the last standing bastion for the MidWest and now it has shunned you. Be ashamed. You are now no man’s land.
It’s weird not to see Shane up there. I mean, we got Lil’ Mama and her color coordination and JC and his too cool for school thing and, was that Hok?? He kind of sticks out. Could be because he’s all small and adorable.
We start regionals in the South and Mario reminds us that the South has never given us an ABDC champ. Is that the sound of bitter, bitter tears being shed along the bible belt?
Whoa! I’m always surprised when I see Randy Jackson on my screen. For a half a second I thought this was Idol.
New intro for the show. It’s short and not very eye catching.
Nationals start on February 18th!
Bitter, bitter tears, Mario. You are just being mean now.
I feel the need to point out, YET AGAIN, that JC is an original member of *NSYNC because THERE WERE ONLY EVER ORIGINAL MEMBERS. THIS AIN’T YO MAMA’S MENUDO, MARIO!
What. What? Lil’ Mama, for reals? You ought to see to your seamstress, I think she be sticking her scraps all over your suit. Just saying.
Omarion, what is that on your eyebrow? Is that a scar? WHY WOULD YOU PAY SOMEONE TO DO THAT TO YOU? Oh, and he’s a triple threat because he follows choreography, follows direction and follows production. Got it!
South Regional Battle
Jungle Boogie – Stone Mountain, GA – They do cranking. I don’t know what that means but apparently I’ve seen it in videos. Codie tells us it’s aggressive, clean dancing. Whut?
Hok – Would like to get up onto his feet and dance till he feel better. *sunshine smile*
Lil’ Mama – Thinks they could be cleaner but they are dope.
JC – They’re the whole package, charismatic, have stunts and choreography. Whoo!
Jungle Boogie had to be asked to stop dancing and leave. LULZ They got some energy.
Some dude just came out on the stage like a monkey? Raqi gives Mario a taste. These kids don’t quit.
Performance: Um, hi dude bouncing around in a reclining hero pose on the floor during the intro? You cray-cray. I like it! Two of the guys do this weird fight/swing move that looks kind of shaky in the end but it’s not terrible. Raqi’s facial expressions are ACE! The chest pounding is a little weird but it’s their ‘thing’, I guess.
Omarion – Was digging them and was impressed. He called out the wrestling/Mexican (what?) move and said it was sloppy. I have to agree on the sloppy not sure what he meant by ‘Mexican’.
Lil’ Mama – Agrees with Omarion. Gotta be cleaner near the end.
JC - Loves their energy.
Ghost – Houston, TX – They’re “smooth”. Dance has saved their lives, pulled them up out of a negative life, out of the hood. We’ve heard this all before but, hey, what’s one more crew with a sob story? It wouldn’t be ABDC without it.
I don’t even. . . *yawn* What was that intro? They looked corny and boring. I kind of wish the audition footage had been cut in a more interesting way.
Lil’ Mama – (Is that tears I see??) Felt them spiritually . . . apparently spirit vibes (don’t forget to light them candles!!) are the way to make it through an audition.
JC – Levels, people, LEVELS! At least they were clean. (showers are very important this season)
Hok – You worked hard? WELL WORK HARDER, because you’re going to regionals! *sunshine smile*
Blah, blah, blah, hardship, blah, blah blah, ghetto, blah, blah, blah dance. Thanks, Pat!
Performance: Ok, this is just a stylistic quirk of mine, but why is the one girl wearing a white plaid jacket when everyone else is wearing red? That doesn’t seem right. Ok, kids, the monster eye contacts, that shit ain’t right. October is a long ways a way, my friends. Their movements are so slow at times that I get distracted. I do like how they worked on their levels. The weird matrix move was pretty cool. UH-OH! I hope your kids are in bed because Pat just tried to lick his way through my screen and I was afraid.
JC – He appreciates that they took his advice re: levels right from the beginning. LT’s isolations were good, the tracing was good but repetitive. People, JC has PDRD, pop dance repetition disorder and would like it if you didn’t remind him every day about his days as a young sparklekind forced to repeat the same dance moves every day for years. Break free, my children, BREAK FREE! He also liked the mood but agreed that it was slow.
Omarion – Thinks he’s seen this before. The isolation was good but, um, kids, push it just a little bit farther.
Lil’ Mama - She agrees, ok? LIL’ MAMA WILL ALWAYS AGREE! Step it up like Omarion said.
Ghost looks like they’re going to cry. I’m sure Lil’ Mama has a hanky for you.
X-treme Motion – Houston, TX – Girls, booty shaking, GREAT. We’ve never seen this before. They’re from the HBCU Marching Band. Apparently it’s a totally different style of dancing, LaTrecia tells us that they call it bucking. I call it, ass shaking. Potatoh, potahto. They do have an awesome energy about them. I enjoyed watching JC bop along with them.
Lil’ Mama – Dope (ding! ding! ding! Double word score for saying dope twice already!) and fun. The boys will like you. (There’s no point in talking it up, boys will always love the glorified ass shaking.)
Hok – Girl in the middle, your bum shaking left something to be desired when compared to the girls on either side of you. Perhaps some stripper pole dancing lessons would come in handy? *sunshine smile*
JC - No discussion necessary. (If you don’t know by now that JC is an ass man, I don’t know where you been.) Off to regionals. (Please, call JC to judge your ass shaking competition.)
They collapse in an spaztic orgy that turns JC’s face red before bouncing out of the room like Bambi on crack. PS. That one girl needs to invest in a full shirt or some needle and thread. Either/or would do.
I, I, words. . .lost. Spandex bad. Colors blinding. Mario is on a fact finding mission that I support, what makes bucking different from ass shaking (or stripper dancing, just for perspective). A chart if you will.
BUCKING ASS SHAKING STRIPPING BUMP, BUMP, BUMP (ICWYDT B2K reference) X X X BOOTY SHAKING X X X HBCU COLLEGE BAND MAJORETTE DANCE X X X* BEND DOWN VEEERRRRYYY LOW X X X POP, POP, POP, POP X X X KEEP IT GOING X X X ATHLETIC X X X ENERGETIC X X X
*I cannot rule out the possibility than an HBCU Majorette, at one time or another, may have done some stripping to help pay her bills and in doing so may have used moves learned during her bucking majorette days. Just saying, I can’t vouch that this never happened.
I fail to see the difference between any of these ‘dance’ styles. Perhaps a flow chart. . .
Mario, please don’t ever do that on my TV screen again. I don’t know what it was but it was scarier than Pat licking my screen.
Performance: Starts off kind of cheerleader meets marching band but I can’t lie, I appreciated the splits and the energy they poured into the dance but the jumps were weak. Hairography is not JC’s favorite and I hope he calls you girls on it. Case in point, re: stripping, what was the point of pulling their shirts up and their pants low? WHAT WAS THE POINT???! I’ve got to say that I didn’t really see anything interesting or new. I did see Beat Freaks in the audience. ♥____♥
Lil’ Mama – Absolutely it was extreme. They have high energy and danced in union. She thinks they came a little bit out of character from each other. Jury is still out on what exactly that means but are leaning towards, not good.
JC – Fun routine but started off generic. (4 for you, JC!) Built up into a nice crescendo in the middle but then ended generic. I wonder how hard he had to watch to get past all the ass shaking on that stage. Work on originality.
Back it up.
JC: “The meat was there in the sandwich so it’s like. . . Wow!” And they should have taken the ab section farther and ripped their shirts off. Um, someone needs to take away JC’s porn. Mario is taking JC’s analogy and crowning it king of this season and it’s only the first episode.
Omarion – Booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere. He enjoyed it, thank you, ladies. Agreed with everyone else. Energy and focus on giving all of the great moves a lot of attention.
These girls are ‘bucking’ all over the place at all the attention. *sigh* I am convulsing with Fly Khicks flashbacks.
Swagger Crew – Atlanta, GA – OMG the one white girl sticks out so hard. They seem to be eating up their own hype which is interesting.
Whoever is cutting these audition clips either sucks or these crews are just boring. I can’t decide. What do you guys think? I did like the end of their dance.
Hok – It was good but it could have been better. Don’t be afraid to experiment with formations that will better showcase the moves you are doing. *sunshine smile*
JC - Sees a lot of potential. They’re going to regionals.
Lil’ Mama – If I had to take a guess, she agreed but it was dope. They didn’t even bother to show what she had to say. My world is a darker place without Lil’ Mama’s golden nuggets of wisdom.
Performance: They don’t do dance crazes because they’re more animated and into theatrical comedy. This is going to be precious.
OMG Their facial expressions and transitions were awesome. I was digging their animation for sure.
Mario is also pointing out the very obvious lone girl in this crew.
JC – Yep, she’s hot. (She goes a little bit nutty at this admission and I can’t blame her). They’re good dancers and it picked up during the grooving in the middle but the beginning was generic (ding! ding! ding! TRIPLE WORD SCORE). He enjoyed that they managed to avoid the ripple during the line formation and instead just all shot out of it like a pack of crazed howler monkeys.
Omarion – Agrees with JC. They have a name to live up to so when you swagging, please swag. Que? The movements were trained and passionless (re: robotic). Bring more heart.
Lil’ Mama – Agrees with both. *cough* Put moves to music and don’t focus on just trying to show off a move or dance style. Dance as one with the music and you will go far. (See what I mean? GOLDEN NUGGETS OF WISDOM! She could write fortune cookies.)
Royal Flush – Atlanta, GA – 5th time is a charm. At least they have studied the show, taken on the judge’s critiques and applied them. Go you!
This is possibly the first audition clip that hasn’t bored me at all. They are all over the place, flipping and breaking.
JC – 5th time might be the one. Hok?
Hok – Great energy. They were projecting their energy and drawing the judges into their world. Regionals! *sunshine smile*
Lil’ Mama – Absolutely. She nods along to all things that Hok says.
Performance: Own your critique and work it out, bbs! I think I have an obvious like for this crew already.
Did they just drop tissues on the floor or where those playing cards? I really like how they work in and showcase each of their own strengths. We’ve got the guys doing flips and spins the girl is doing her little sexy dance (note the lack of excessive ass shaking). It was different and energetic and attention grabbing.
Lil’ Mama – Speechless. This is a foreign concept to me. Omarion is pushing her to say something she obviously doesn’t want to say. More choreography would be nice. It was cool (Cool, not dope. On the awesome meter cool rates below dope, by the way.) She liked the flying flush (which I really enjoyed). More group and less crew. This is a confusing piece of advice.
Omarion – Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can do. He’s also going to spill on what Lil’ Mama didn’t want to say. But the cards where corny and not creative. (Can anyone tell me what in the hell is carved into this boy’s hair. I know this is unrelated but c’mon kid, your style is questionable and making me trust you less and less every time I get a glimpse of the back of your head.)
JC – As further proof that JC and I are kindred spirits, he enjoyed the performance. Hard work pays off. They decided to do everything and make it interesting. He appreciated that they offered up all these different styles but the isolations were a little weak. Hi, JC? I love you.
My guesses are Jungle Boogie and Swagger Crew
1 for 1 Swagger Crew
2 for 2 Jungle Boogie
Sudden Death Showdown
I wish Lil’ Mama and Omarion could have looked past their playing card bias. Just throwing that out there. The girls from Ghost look like they’re ready to cut a bitch.
I can’t get over the heinousness of those outfits and also how I feel like I’m watching stripperobics.
OMG that last bit of tricks was pretty awesome. I just like how they keep changing things up and keep it interesting to watch.
They’re just. . . boring.
Mario is reading the results. Oh goodie!
X-treme Motion took a risk bringing ass shakingbucking to the stage. Insert JC’s analogy and something about not being too timid (the whole ripping their shirts thing. Um, apparently spandex was not outrageous enough for him). Ghost blah, blah, blah hardships. Judges wanted you to work harder and push your technique farther (also known as, be less boring.) The girls are crying and I almost feel bad for them. . .almost. Royal Flush Long road to get here, JC says the hard work paid off but Omarion (and Lil’ Mama by proximity) said the card tricks were corny. Whatever, whatever, they were awesome and they’re totally better than the other two.
My guess is Royal Flush………….
1 for 1 Royal Flush
I am just thankful that I won’t be subject to any more ass shaking or boring, slow moves.
East Coast Regionals and 50 Million ads for the most depressing show on the planet (16 & Pregnant) next week.
Clearly, JC Says The Darndest Things is in full swing, already. Can’t wait till next week!